Choices

We are able to determine the outcome of our actions. Here we shed light on how it works. Choose correct!!!

Choices

Adults make an average of 35,000 choices or decisions every day (Psychology Today). It is therefore necessary and important for us to spend a few moments to think about our choices. That is what this article is about. Choices, choices, choices.

Freedom of Choice

Our general concept regarding Freedom of choice is that we can decide what we want to do, when we want to do it, and what we do not want to do. We can choose between right or wrong, but we can also choose right, or we can choose wrong. It is completely up to us as individuals.

Wikipedia defines freedom of choice as an individual's opportunity and autonomy to perform an action selected from at least two available options, unconstrained by external parties.

The Origins of Choice

We did not choose to live. No one had the personal choice to be born. In the entire universe, only one planet is suitable for life as human beings. Scientists are continuously looking for other planets that would be suitable for human life. So far, only Earth makes the cut. All of creation was made so that human beings can exist. The climate, for example, is just right for human life. The food produced by earth is just right for humankind. That was a choice! The Creator chose us!

“For thus says the LORD, who created the heavens (he is God!), who formed the earth and made it (he established it; he did not create it empty, he formed it to be inhabited!): “I am the LORD, and there is no other.” Isaiah 45:18  (ESV)

Our biological parents did not even choose us. That sounds strange, but they may have chosen to become pregnant and to bring a child into this world, but they did not particularly choose us out of a selection of babies. We believe our Creator chose us first! Then He chose parents for us, after which we were born and raised by them, on behalf of the Creator.

“When God created man, he made him in the likeness of God. Male and female he created them, and he blessed them and named them Man when they were created.” Genesis 5:1-2 (ESV)

“For I have chosen him, that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the LORD by doing righteousness and justice, so that the LORD may bring to Abraham what he has promised him.” Genesis 18:19 (ESV)

As far as we can deduct from historic records, only two people were physically created with the natural ability to multiply. One man and one woman with the choice to procreate. All human beings currently on earth came from that single choice. We were a choice! We, as a species, were chosen!

We were not chosen in the sense where a human trafficker (modern slave owner) chooses a victim (slave). We were chosen for love and fellowship, for relationships. The only way any relationship can be mutually beneficial, is when both parties consent to the relationship. So, when our Creator created us for relationships, the best option was followed. He provided us with freedom of choice, so that we could choose to have (consenting) fellowship with Him or not, instead of living in a bondage situation like His slaves.    

“And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the LORD, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.” Joshua 24:15 (ESV)  

“You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you.” John 15:16 (ESV)

“And will not God give justice to his elect, who cry to him day and night?” Luke 18:7 (ESV)

“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people to be his very own and to proclaim the wonderful deeds of the one who called you out of darkness into his marvellous light.” 1 Peter 2:9 (ISV)  

Consequences of Choice

Our choices - and particularly those with subsequent actions - have consequences! Good choices generally have good consequences, and bad choices generally have bad consequences. When we choose, our own choices affect our own lives, but - almost always - also affects other people. Likewise somebody else’s choices affect both themselves and our lives. The results of either can make us happy, or it can make us sad. Our choices today not only affect ourselves, but it affects our legacy!

With such a powerful tool such as freedom of choice, shouldn’t we spend time learning how to use this tool effectively?

"I've set life and death before you today:  both blessings and curses.   Choose life, so that it may be well with you and your children.“ Deuteronomy 30:19 (ISV)

There are many common misconceptions about choice. We hear people say: “I had no choice!” Or “That’s just how it is.” How many people have you met that hides abrasive and rude actions behind “That’s just who I am. I was made like that.” We sometimes excuse our own faults or shortcomings with “I can’t help it.” We have heard in the media about famous people, instead of coming clean about their bad choices, claiming “The devil made me do it!”

How do we choose / decide

We normally choose based on how we foresee the outcome of our choices. Sometimes we refer to this as calculated risks. Our personality -  whether we see ourselves as optimistic or pessimistic - plays a big role in the kind of choices we make. Choices also related to our belief systems.

What do the Psychologists say? There are two main theories. The General Choice Theory where our own survival, or the survival of who or what we love, informs our choices. Whether we love, or experience that we are loved, and that we feel that we belong, affects how we choose. Some people make choices because they feel they have the power, or the freedom to do so. Sometimes these choices are made to the detriment of those around them. Furthermore, many people’s perception of what would be fun, is evident in their choices and decisions. Then there is the Rational Choice Theory which factors in – adds – individual preferences, beliefs as well as the perceived constraints.

We normally make a choice based on information that is available to us. We make a choice based on what we believe is correct and preferable at that particular time. That information can be true or false, and we are able to make bad decisions with the best intentions!

Reflex, Reaction, Impulsive, or Rational

If an action is not based on information and thought, it is not a choice, but an Impulse, a reaction or a reflex. For example, what happens when we accidentally touch a hot surface? We immediately pull back. We’re not thinking, or choosing. We are just acting. Quickly!.

Reflex

As a precautionary measure, we were “wired” to execute certain actions immediately, and without thinking or choosing..Neuroscientists say that the things that physically happen in our bodies when we touch a hot surface, is completely different from any other decision we make.

As soon as we come into contact with the hot surface, or feel the pain of needle prick or a cut, our touch senses are stimulated - or triggered. A signal goes to the spinal cord, and from there another signal goes directly to the muscles that are needed to take action. The signal does not go to the brain. No thought process happens. It is a reflex, and we pull back from our hand from the threat! That’s all.

Reaction

Unlike a reflex, the “choice” that is called a reaction is based on a previous experience or experiences that we had before. These experiences could have been either good or bad. A reaction is frequently an emotional or an irrational response to something that happens. We may have had an incident that, when it took place, caused certain undesirable emotions like fear, anxiety or aggression. When we observe or sense (see, hear, smell, taste, or feel/touch) an incident, we instinctively recall a previous, similar occurrence. Then we re-act precisely in the same way as we did on previous occasions. This happens without any rational thought. It is my opinion that the “instinctive” fight or flight or freeze decision is a reaction.

Impulse

Sometimes decisions with long-term effects are made based on a temporary emotional state, and are then regretted afterwards. Such choices are regarded as emotional decisions which are often rationalised by very good reasons. Impulse decisions are not always made quickly, as the “impulse” tag indicates. One can spend any length of time thinking about the impulse, without ever allowing rationality to inter the equation. Buying a new car, while the existing one only needs a good wash, falls in this category. Also unfortunately, relationships often fall prey to impulse choices. For example, an extra-marital affair that may happen when one partner experiences a temporary emotional episode, leads to divorce, dysfunctional families, and causing children to grow up to become “broken” adults who frequently cause their own “broken” relationships and dysfunctional families.

Rational Choice

Rational decision-making are the kinds of choices we want to make. It is a process that takes time to reflect, to weigh the pro’s and con’s, and to carefully consider the risks involved. Such choices often consult a number of reputable sources for advice. We will spend some time on this type in the paragraphs to come.

More Complicated Choices

What if choices are more complicated than “do this'' or “don’t do that”? We are often confronted with a "It's make-or-break” situation in which cases most will choose “make”. We may face "It's a matter of life or death" situations. Most would choose life of course. It becomes complicated when we are faced with a scenario where the choice, for example, is between “a life filled with joy” and “a life filled with heartache and misery”. Or choose between a “life of abundance” and a “life in extreme poverty”. When one finds oneself in such a complicated situation, a basic “no-brainer choice for life” begins to involve morals like the value of life, or crime, or dishonesty, making it more difficult to make the best, most rational choices, and living with the consequences.

How do choices work?

What happens in our minds, and in our physical brains just before we make even the quickest  and simplest decision? All of our choices begin with a single thought. Depending on how we choose, what we choose to continue thinking about, one thought leads to another, and we sometimes go through a whole thought process before we choose. But the one thing we need to understand before we can manage our choices properly is this: “Where does a thought come from, and how does it work?”

To learn more about the origin of thoughts, please read the article How do we think. In short, any thought is built upon either another thought, or some stimulation from one of more of our five physical senses. It manifests in our subconscious and conscious mind as a combination of relevant previous thoughts, memories, and emotions. Based on these, a new thought is formed, which triggers the process to build another thought, and so a whole thought process is formed. During such a process choices are made, and actions follow. The key is that thoughts become part of our physical brain structure as neurons (brain cells) connect to others (for example the memory of something that we experienced before - and feelings that we had at the time - are connected in a network with our current thoughts). Such connections become stronger with repetition of similar thoughts (i.e. habits). If we choose to replace that thought pattern with a new different (let’s say healthier) thought, it becomes stronger through repetition, and the older ones are stored further and further away in our nonconscious mind, and become weaker. In this way habits can be broken over time, as new choices become more “popular”. For more insight into the working of thoughts, please read the article How do we think.

“for as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” Proverbs 23:7  (MKJV)

Now we know what happens in us in that microscopic fraction of a second before we make a choice. Just imagine how much can change for the better, and how much better we can feel, if we could identify a memory as toxic, or unhealthy) for the current situation, and PAUSE…, just before we act or speak as a result of that first thought. Pause, and ask yourself questions like? Is this really my best option? Do I want to win this argument at any cost? What could be the consequences of this action, or these words? Does this action reflect who I am, or my inner values?  This is possible!

It is during that short PAUSE, that we are able, with repetition and practice, to eventually completely renew our minds.

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Romans 12:2 (NIV)

Some Alternative Choices

What do my choices say about me? Is my go-to reaction on sensory stimuli or triggers, the picture of myself that I want to, or should portray to those around me?

Self-indulgence        OR        Self-Control

Unreliability              OR           Responsibility

Hypocrisy                 OR           Sincerity

Foolishness             OR           Wisdom

Unfaithfulness          OR           Loyalty

Corruption                OR           Justice

Disrespect                OR           Honour

Rejection                  OR           Forgiveness

What INSPIRES my choices / decisions? Is it…

Self?

Principles?

Success?

Relationships?

Survival?

Faith?

Money?

Happiness?

Am I prepared to bear the consequences of this choice? Consequences like…

Self-hatred?

Abandoned Principles?

Sour Relationships?

Remorse?

Excessive stress?

Rejection?

Unhappiness?

At the very core of every choice lies two opposites: Love and fear. Think about that for a bit. Am I choosing based on love for myself, love for the people I have relationships with, or love for God? Or am I choosing this out of fear, fear of failure, fear of losing, fear of poverty. Again, these lists can go on and on. I am free to choose whatever I want to. Knowing that each choice has consequences, and that my destiny - at least in part -  depends on it, what would I waste this opportunity to choose, on?

“Don’t copy the behaviour and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.” Romans 12:2 (NLT)

With repetition, the correct, healthy choice CAN become my automatic go-to reaction!

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